Sordid sex secrets of the NRL locker room: I know rugby league lads and - trust me - their 'kinks' will make your eyes water: JANA HOCKING

Waking up to the news this week that another NRL relationship had been blown to bits by a silly sex tape, I didn't even raise an eyebrow.

I scanned the article and went back to reading about Diddy's trial.

It wasn't until the story started getting shared in my WhatsApp groups that I realised just how numb I'd become to this sort of thing. 

In case you missed it, Queensland State of Origin star Hamiso Tabuai-Fidow and his girlfriend, NRLW poster girl Jaime Chapman - a true footy power couple if there ever was one - recently split after dating for a year.

The reason? An explicit video featuring Tabuai-Fidow engaged in a sexual act with another woman he had met in a nightclub.

Yawn.  

You see, I've dated a couple of rugby league players in my time - pitchforks away, please - and encountered a fair few more during my career.

Honestly, most of them are absolute legends - like boisterous big brothers. But every now and then, you get the ones who act like horny rabbits at a spring carnival.

I find they're usually the first-grade recruits. They've spent years grinding through the junior leagues, laser-focused on training and goals, all for the dream of making it big.

And when they finally get there and discover that, yes, there are women who are desperate to sleep with professional athletes, the chaos begins.

In certain circles, sleeping with a footy player is considered a personal achievement. I should know: I was inducted into this culture during my university years.

It was my first week at Bathurst University and the Panthers were playing the Knights in a local trial game. I couldn't have cared less about football, but everyone in my dorm was going.

As a newly single lass, I was curious to see what the fuss was about.

Watching the blokes crash-tackle each other in tiny shorts - all rugged arms and tree-trunk thighs - awakened something feral in me.

I'd just ended a four-year relationship with my high school boyfriend. Having only ever had sex with one man, I wasn't quite prepared for the primal lust these football warriors were arousing in me.

I'd finally grown out of my teenage awkwardness, discovered the magic of blonde foils and GHD straighteners, and entered a whole new era. 

Naturally, I took that energy with me to the post-match drinks with the players, on a mission to land one of them. 

And land one I did.

What I thought was a fun little notch on the bedpost turned into a full-blown relationship, which gave me a front-row seat to the wild world of footy groupies and the chaos that comes when testosterone meets adoration.

Sure, you can point fingers at the players for being horny and reckless, but let's not ignore the women here. Because when a guy walks into a bar with NRL written all over him, some ladies lose their damn minds.

And many of them don't care if the player has a wife or girlfriend at home. 

Case in point: a few years later I was dating another player I'd met while working as a TV guest booker. We were out at dinner when a group of women clocked who he was and started doing slow, seductive laps around our table like sharks circling prey.

He had his hand on my knee, and they still didn't care. To them, I wasn't a girlfriend, I was a minor obstacle. We laughed it off, but every time he went to the bar, one would dart over and try her luck. 

I saw him point back at me more than once with a polite 'I'm with someone.'

I felt secure. Until one day… *ping* went my Facebook inbox.

A gorgeous blonde had slid into my DMs with a polite but devastating message. She had slept with my man the week prior, during an away game. And, in her words, she 'just thought I should know, because I'm a girls' girl.'

Oh, the irony.

Cue tears, yelling, a dramatic break-up for the ages. I don't know how Jaime found out about her boyfriend Hamiso's little video, but I sure know how she feels. 

Honestly, some of these women would stop at nothing. And while I now look back on that era with mild amusement, there is also a tinge of sadness.

I heard the stories. Girls waiting in hotel lobbies after games. Girls lining up for group sex just for bragging rights. One video I was shown by a player still haunts me: it was one of his teammates eating a hamburger with one hand while getting a blowjob from a girl in their hotel room, his other hand guiding her head up and down.

The boys thought it was hilarious. I thought it was bleak. Put the camera away.

Sure, she was probably a willing participant - but did she know it was circulating in the team's group chat? Did she know she was a punchline in the locker room?

As my self-esteem grew, so did my feeling this was all wrong. What once felt like a cheeky power move - 'I shagged a footy player!' - now felt a bit tragic.

It wasn't something to be proud of. I didn't want to be a WAG. In those tight-knit circles, women aren't always respected.

Wives and girlfriends were expected to turn a blind eye, keep quiet, and accept the crumbs of loyalty that came with the lifestyle.

And once I truly saw how some of these men treated women, I tapped out.

After hearing about poor Jaime Chapman this week, I'm certain I had a lucky escape.

• Disclaimer: None of the players or ex-players alluded to in this article are men with whom Jana Hocking has been publicly linked