Kaylee McKeown has revealed that she fell out of love with swimming so much so that she was left crying into her goggles during every training session.
The 24-year-old five-time Olympic Gold Medallist debuted at the 2020 Tokyo Olympics and returned to feature last year in Paris.
She made history at those Games, becoming the first Australian to win four individual Olympic gold medals at a Games.
But despite the unbelievable achievement, McKeown made a ‘depressing’ admission about her relationship with the sport.
In April, the Queensland native admitted to reporters at the Australian swimming trials that she felt like she was in a ‘really dark place’.
Despite that, McKeown finished fastest in the 50m backstroke final and booked her place for last month's World Aquatics Championships in Singapore. There was drama during the meet, as the 24-year-old had a disqualification overturned, after she protested a decision that she leapt off the blocks too early because she was ‘distracted by a movement prior to the start gun.’
Kaylee McKeown has revealed that she fell out of love with swimming so much so that she was left crying into her goggles during every training session after returning from Paris
McKeown made history becoming the first Australian to win four individual gold medals at an Olympic Games
But the Aussie Swimming queen explained that she was in a 'dark place mentally' at the beginning of 2025
‘Coming off the Olympics, I was in a really dark place mentally,’ she explained back in April. ‘I think when you go from such a high straight back to such a low, and you're kind of left scrambling for ideas on what you're going to do next, it is hard to find your feet once again.’
Four weeks before the World Aquatics Championships, McKeown’s hopes of representing Australia in Singapore were thrown into limbo after she dislocated her shoulder.
While she would make a miraculous recovery and return to the pool to win gold in the 200m backstroke, she dubbed 2025 a ‘shambles’ of a year.
‘Coming back from Paris, there was a plan of taking four months off,’ she said to Nine’s Wide World of Sports.
‘I knew throughout the whole career, as soon as I stepped up to be in the Griffith [University] swim squad under Bohly [Michael Bohl], he said, “I'm not going through until after Paris. I'm done”. So I was kind of dreading that because I didn't know who was gonna replace him, where I was gonna end up. So that was always kind of a lingering thought at the back of my mind.
‘But I just wanted to take the cap and goggles off for a little bit and just unwind, relax.’
After her heroics in Paris, McKeown found herself straight back in the pool, winning two gold medals at the Australian National Championships just a month after returning from Europe.
A trip to China would follow for the Swimming World Cup, and since then, it has been non-stop for the 24-year-old.
The Olympian revealed that she had been left crying into her goggles during every training session at the start of the year
She explained at the start of the year that she had 'found myself not loving the sport'
‘Going back mid-January, early February, I just found myself not loving the sport,’ she explained. ‘Quite often, I'd like to think I go into the training environment wanting to work hard, push myself more and more, and enjoy being around my teammates. But I was going into training, almost crying in my goggles every session. I just wanted nothing to do with anyone there. [It was] quite depressing, really," McKeown said.
It was a change of scenery that would help the Olympic champion, with the Redcliffe-born star opting to move to the Sunshine Coast and return to her old team, who she had partnered with at the Tokyo Games.
‘It's been the best thing for me. I'm back in where I grew up, and it's just got that nice, homely feel to it.
‘I've always said it, that a happy swimmer is a fast swimmer.
‘I've swum my best when I'm at my happiest, and I think that really showed this year, as well.
Despite facing some difficulties over the past 12 months, McKeown explains that she is in a much better headspace.
"I hadn't done the work, I wasn't mentally ready to push myself, but I've built this foundation and support team around me that makes me the happiest within myself, and I've just found myself finding that love for the sport again, and it does take some time,’ McKeown said.